This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
