and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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