I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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