Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
