This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
