what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
