I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The Olympian is in my bed
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
