my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize