I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
