Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
