wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
