If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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