I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
