...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize