hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
