i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to sanitize my soul.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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