just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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