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• (330): View more from Ohio

  You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell

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• (415): View more from California

  I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.

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• (805): View more from California

  Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (727): View more from Florida

  We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.

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• (585): View more from New York

  I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.

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