Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.