Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
