Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
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woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
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She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"