Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics

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  (818): Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics http://tfl.nu/kq58
  Replies (44) Good night (1635) Bad night (4351)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.

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  (919): My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning. http://tfl.nu/jpte
  Replies (13) Good night (675) Bad night (3744)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.

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  (904): Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it. http://tfl.nu/tda5
  Replies (10) Good night (6300) Bad night (895)
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  (707): View more from California

  You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"

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  (707): You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip" http://tfl.nu/cn9w
  Replies (6) Good night (3536) Bad night (1116)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.

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  (479): In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony. http://tfl.nu/h4yi
  Replies (11) Good night (740) Bad night (2532)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"

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  (720): You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!" http://tfl.nu/9zop
  Replies (10) Good night (2372) Bad night (702)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.

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  (614): I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia. http://tfl.nu/a7rk
  Replies (5) Good night (506) Bad night (895)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.

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  (310): I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover. http://tfl.nu/1zuj
  Replies (4) Good night (1326) Bad night (771)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.

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  (617): my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me. http://tfl.nu/yb33
  Replies (6) Good night (698) Bad night (1618)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry

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  (919): That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry http://tfl.nu/76an
  Replies (2) Good night (859) Bad night (325)
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  (627): View more from California

  some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.

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  (627): some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE. http://tfl.nu/adi8
  Replies (9) Good night (1903) Bad night (379)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?

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  (732): You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean? http://tfl.nu/m097
  Replies (2) Good night (745) Bad night (304)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried

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  (978): my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried http://tfl.nu/4pug
  Replies (3) Good night (1063) Bad night (299)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm about to be a big disappointment.

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  (405): Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake. (405): I'm about to be a big disappointment. http://tfl.nu/y7r2
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (314)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true

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  (856): also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true http://tfl.nu/ky73
  Replies (9) Good night (470) Bad night (256)

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