this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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