Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face... http://tfl.nu/9q5v
  Replies (16) Good night (791) Bad night (2652)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (786): Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful? http://tfl.nu/pwsi
  Replies (9) Good night (975) Bad night (3661)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk. http://tfl.nu/tfhs
  Replies (5) Good night (4795) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle? http://tfl.nu/4cgb
  Replies (10) Good night (3268) Bad night (1247)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship. http://tfl.nu/ax7l
  Replies (33) Good night (1623) Bad night (3148)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap http://tfl.nu/39t2
  Replies (7) Good night (2614) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke. http://tfl.nu/zs7w
  Replies (5) Good night (698) Bad night (1201)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore. http://tfl.nu/k0jx
  Replies (5) Good night (1873) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :( http://tfl.nu/ztju
  Replies (25) Good night (3603) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs. http://tfl.nu/8989
  Replies (5) Good night (973) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather. http://tfl.nu/66t1
  Replies (3) Good night (1504) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all. http://tfl.nu/rs17
  Replies (1) Good night (767) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here. http://tfl.nu/o4b3
  Replies (5) Good night (1132) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing... http://tfl.nu/oqmo
  Replies (2) Good night (318) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (435): Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off http://tfl.nu/6xhw
  Replies (0) Good night (453) Bad night (294)

Randomize