this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
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Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
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You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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