im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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