It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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