the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
