May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
