Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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