Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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