Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
