If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize