God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
