just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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