what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
