ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
