so that wasnt chicken after all
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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