Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
