i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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