Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
