Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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