Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
