:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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