I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
