remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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