Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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