Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
