Nicole vs. Life
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
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almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
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I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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