i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
