It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
