Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We have started to decorate penises.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
