I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
