So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
