I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
