Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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