normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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