UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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