I didn't shave. On purpose
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
