Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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