i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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