did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
